Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I'm not that interesting.

I want to be a good blogger.  I want to document my life and the interesting things that occur every day.  Each night I realize that I feel very run-of-the-mill and ordinary.  I wonder who would want to read about my daily life?  But there are a few things that I know in a few years I would at least like to look back on and think about, so I figure I'm going to try my hardest to keep writing. 

Tomorrow, bright and early, we're headed to a magnet school in the district to learn about their philosophies and how their enrollment process works.  I'm not really sure, but from everything I've read, I think it would be a good fit for the Monkey as he starts kindergarten next year.  To be completely honest, the realization that hubby and I are responsible for setting the stage for our sons' educational futures and successes in life is absolutely overwhelming and scary.  I wish we had lots of money and could invest in a perfect private school (I'm still hoping they'll be able to go to private school around age 12).  I think public school for the elementary years is good, but I just don't know.  I can't believe I have to think about this already and feel like the decisions I make now are going to set off a cascade of results leading through all the years of education. 

And that I'm going to have to analyze it and decide if what I do for the Monkey is the best for Small Fry and then the best for Split Pea.  I love having children, but I feel like I know less and less as they grow older.  They're starting to get out of my realm of control, starting to be influenced by friends, educated by teachers that are not immediate family or friends, and it scares me.  Not that I feel like I know what I'm doing or would have the first idea how to instruct a 5-year-old in the ways of the world, but just the fact that I guess, that he's GROWING UP is really frightening. 

So tomorrow, hubby and I will drop the older boys next door, take Split Pea with us, and go to a new school to learn about their mission and educational style.  And I'm going to have to figure out if it "fits" for the way I believe my son should be educated.  It's pretty cool that these choices are available for us, but at the same time, scary.  I don't feel old enough to be making these kinds of decisions, these are the decisions adults and parents make.  Oh crap.  I am an adult and a parent.  I have no idea how that happened. 

That's where my head is at tonight. Now I'm off to do some more work as always and think about sleeping for a few hours. 

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